i just figured out the perfect murder
kill someone and bury them in their own garden
that way if the police find them they’ll think it was a suicide
#welp looks like the victim committed suicide and promptly buried themselves in their garden #how considerate of them
Becoming a cold hearted bitch wasn’t really what I planned to do with my life but here I am
i’m so possessive over people but like a quiet possessive because i dont want to be clingy so i kinda just angrily stare at people from afar
i wish i was morgan freeman but sadly all ill ever be is morgan dreamin’
The flight attendant just announced “If you don’t like any of my jokes, there are six exits” and told us where the emergency exits are it was actually the best
"for those of you who are traveling with children… WHY"
"if you’re changing to a flight with a different airline, we don’t care."
he said “okay now get out” once we landed i’m pissing myself